We are already full swing into mid-November, and the holiday season is right around the corner, but you’re already mentally exhausted thinking about everything coming in December. The gift lists are forming in your head at 2 AM. You’re calculating whether you can afford gifts, rent or mortgage payments, and meals for hosting this year. You’re dreading the inevitable question from your family about “your plans” for the holidays. And meanwhile, your inbox is overflowing with year-end deadlines, your regular responsibilities haven’t disappeared, and somehow you’re supposed to be excited about it all.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Pre-holiday stress is real, and for many people, it’s actually worse than the holidays themselves. The good news? Recognizing the warning signs now means you can take action before you hit the wall. You might even get to enjoy parts of the season.
Why November is the Danger Zone for Holiday Stress
There’s a reason November feels so overwhelming, even though the holidays haven’t technically started yet. I call it “invisible accumulation” – all the mental and emotional labour of preparing for the season happens now, while you’re still managing everything else in your life.
Think about it: you’re making dozens of decisions every day about gifts, meals, travel arrangements, and social commitments. Each decision requires mental energy. Add in work pressures (year-end deadlines don’t care about your holiday shopping), financial anxiety about how much everything will cost, and the guilt that comes with even thinking about scaling back, and you’ve created the perfect recipe for burnout.
And let’s not forget that we went through the time change. Shorter days and darker evenings are already affecting your mood and energy levels. For those of us in Ontario, this is when winter really feels like it’s right around the corner (the recent snow in some parts doesn’t help). The combination of seasonal changes and mounting holiday pressures can push even the most resilient person toward their breaking point.
The Early Warning Signs
Your body and mind will tell you when you’re heading for burnout – if you know what to listen for. Here are the signs that holiday stress is becoming something more serious:
Physical Signs
Sleep disruption is often the first casualty. You’re exhausted, but the moment your head hits the pillow, your brain starts running through your to-do list. Or you fall asleep fine, but wake up at 3 AM with anxiety about everything you need to accomplish.
Watch for jaw clenching, tension headaches, or neck and shoulder pain. Your body holds stress, and the holidays tend to live in your muscles. You might also notice digestive issues, changes in appetite, or that you’re catching every cold that goes around. When stress is high, your immune system takes a hit.
Emotional and Mental Signs
Are you snapping at people you love over small things? The person who chews too loudly at lunch suddenly becomes unbearable. Your partner’s innocent question about dinner plans feels like an interrogation. This irritability is a classic sign you’re running on empty.
You might find yourself feeling resentful about upcoming obligations – even ones you normally enjoy. The thought of attending your friend’s annual party or hosting a family dinner fills you with dread instead of excitement. In your darker moments, you might catch yourself fantasizing about cancelling everything and hiding until January.
Difficulty concentrating at work is another red flag. You read the same email three times without absorbing it. Projects that would typically take an hour are stretching into three. And the Sunday scaries? They’re happening every single night now.
Behavioural Signs
When stress builds, our behaviour changes in predictable ways. You might find yourself overcommitting – saying yes to everything because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. “Sure, I’ll bring three dishes!” “Of course I can help with the school fundraiser!” “I’d love to host!” Each yes adds another item to an already overwhelming list.
Or you might swing the other direction: procrastinating on all holiday-related tasks, then panicking when time runs out. The gift shopping you meant to start in October? Still hasn’t happened, and now you’re looking at expensive rush shipping or settling for whatever’s left on the shelf.
Pay attention if you’re increasing your reliance on caffeine, alcohol, or stress eating to get through the days. And notice if your regular self-care routines – the gym, meditation, time with friends – are the first things to disappear from your schedule.
Why This Isn’t Just Holiday Stress: Understanding Burnout”
Here’s what’s important to understand: if the approaching holidays are causing this level of distress, it often means something deeper is going on. Normal holiday stress includes some overwhelm and busyness, but it shouldn’t be stealing your sleep, health, or peace of mind in early November.
For many of my clients, holiday stress becomes the tipping point that reveals they’ve been running on empty for months. If you’re already dealing with chronic stress, burnout, or anxiety, the holidays don’t add stress to an otherwise manageable life – they add stress to a system that’s already maxed out.
Think of it this way: if your stress capacity is a cup, and your regular life has filled it to 80%, the holidays don’t just add another 20%. They add 50%, and everything overflows. The holidays become the thing that breaks you, but they’re not actually the root problem.
What You Can Do Right Now
The good news is that you have more control than you think. Taking action now, in November, can change your entire season.
Give Yourself Permission to Say No
This might be the most important thing you do. You don’t have to attend every event. You don’t have to make everything from scratch. You don’t have to recreate some perfect holiday fantasy.
Practice saying: “I won’t be able to make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time.” Or: “That sounds lovely, but we’re keeping things simple this year.” You don’t need to explain or justify. “No” is a complete sentence.
Embrace “Good Enough”
What if this year’s holiday was just… fine? Not Instagram-perfect, not like your childhood memories, not what everyone else seems to be doing. Just good enough. The store-bought cookies instead of homemade. The simplified menu. The modest gifts. The smaller gathering.
Ask yourself: What would a “good enough” holiday look like for me? Then give yourself permission to aim for that instead of perfect.
Take One Action Today
Don’t try to fix everything at once. Instead, identify ONE obligation, expectation, or task you can release right now. Maybe it’s telling your family you won’t be hosting this year. Maybe it’s deciding you’re not doing cards. Maybe it’s returning that item you bought out of obligation.
One boundary, one “no,” one simplification. Start there.
Protect Your Sleep
When everything else feels chaotic, your sleep routine becomes even more critical. Set a consistent bedtime. Turn off screens an hour before bed. If your mind races with to-dos, keep a notebook by your bed to write them down and let them go until morning.
Sleep isn’t selfish – it’s the foundation that allows you to handle everything else.
Create a Realistic Budget
Financial stress is one of the biggest holiday burdens. Sit down this week and decide exactly how much you can comfortably spend. Then stick to it, even when guilt tries to convince you otherwise. Your relationships aren’t measured by how much you spend.
Schedule Downtime First
Here’s a radical idea: before you commit to any more holiday obligations, schedule downtime in your calendar. Actual blank space for rest, for doing nothing, for recovery. Then, when someone asks you to do something during that time, you can honestly say you’re not available.
A Note for Ontario Residents
If you’re reading this in Ontario, remember that we’re dealing with a double whammy: holiday stress plus the reality of a Canadian winter that’s just beginning. Shorter days, colder weather, and months of gray skies ahead – it all compounds. You’re not weak for struggling with this. You’re human.
Many extended health plans in Ontario cover virtual therapy, making it easier than ever to get support without adding commute time to your already packed schedule.
When to Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, self-help strategies aren’t enough—and that’s okay. Consider reaching out for professional support if:
- Pre-holiday anxiety is interfering with your ability to work, sleep, or enjoy daily life
- You’re experiencing physical symptoms like panic attacks, chronic insomnia, or stress-related illness
- You recognize this pattern repeating every year, and you want to break the cycle
- You’re already burnt out before the holidays even begin, and you’re not sure how you’ll make it through
Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments. It’s a proactive tool that can help you develop sustainable strategies for managing stress, setting boundaries, and protecting your wellbeing – not just during the holidays, but year-round.
If you’re in Ontario and recognizing these warning signs in yourself, virtual therapy can help you create a realistic plan before the holiday rush intensifies. I specialize in helping professionals manage burnout, stress, and anxiety so you can move through this season with more ease and less dread.
Book a free 15-minute consultation to discuss how we can work together. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing and whether therapy might be a good fit for your needs right now.
You Deserve Better Than Just Surviving
Here’s what I want you to know: struggling with pre-holiday stress doesn’t make you ungrateful, weak, or a Grinch. It makes you human. The holidays have become increasingly complicated, expensive, and demanding, and it’s completely reasonable to feel overwhelmed.
Addressing this now – in mid-November – is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. You’re not overreacting. You’re not being dramatic. You’re paying attention to the signals your mind and body are sending you, and that takes courage.
You deserve to enjoy the holidays, not just survive them. And sometimes, enjoying them means doing a lot less than you think you “should.”
Take care of yourself out there. And remember: good enough is actually pretty great.
If you’re struggling with burnout, stress, anxiety, or sleep concerns, I offer virtual Counselling and Psychotherapy to clients throughout Ontario. Learn more about me or book a free consultation using the button below